Who Is Swami Beyondananda?
Q. Is Swami Beyondananda a real Swami?
A. Absolutely. He recently confirmed this himself: “This morning, I pinched myself … and sure enough, I’m real!”
Q. OK, then is Swami Beyondananda a legitimate Swami?
A. Yes, indeed. We checked the records and both of his parents were married – to each other – when he was born.
Q. What is Swami’s spiritual lineage?
A. While he had many teachers, he calls himself a self-made Swami: “I pulled myself up by my own Buddha-straps,” he says, “and absorbed the wisdom of the cosmos through cosmosis.” For many years, Swami studied cosmology, not to be confused with cosmetology. “Cosmetology is about the make up,” he explains. “Cosmology is about the make up of the Universe.”
Q. Has Swami been to India?
A. Not recently. He did spend his junior year in high school there though, and will sometimes even break into his Govinda High School cheer: “Go, Govinda! Govinda, go! Govinda game, Govinda!” As for now, he says, “They already have plenty of swamis in India. They don’t need another one.”
Q. What is Swami’s philosophy?
A. As a guru of ho-ho-holy hee-hee-healing, Swami believes that to be happy in life, we must be able to take a joke. And if we can leave a few, all the better. He believes that immersion in comedy is a ho-ho-holy state, and that laughter causes breathing, the key to long life. The paradox of comedy often stops the mind in its tracks, which is particularly helpful if you have a one-track mind. It is in the space between thoughts, Swami believes, that enlightening can strike.
Q. Does the Swami make personal appearances?
A. Yes, all the time. He has been personally appearing since the day he was born, even longer if you count past lives. He is available to personally appear at conferences and conventions, theaters, churches, healing centers, and even in living rooms. He even makes remote appearances through Skype, and on video and CD. Not only does Swami have the ability to be here now, he can be there then as well – while still being here now.
Q. How can we book the Swami?
A. Swami is very proud to say that he has been booked, but never convicted. Seriously – and humorously – he can be reached at (707) 888-7260 or email him at firstname.lastname@example.org