THE FUNDAMENTALIST HUMANIFESTO:
How to Become Fooly Aware
By Swami Beyondananda
I have long been a supporter of the human potential movement. No matter what I see on the 6:00 news, I still feel we have the potential to be human. But how do we actually actualize our humanity? How do we humanifest our full potential? Many teachers are telling us that the shift is already taking place. Perhaps you have felt the gears grinding in your own karma. Well, there is no better way to lubricate your transmission than with laughter. That is why so many formerly-serious people have joined the humorin’ potential movement and become FUNdamentalists — accent on “fun.”
Like many of you, I began as a seeker of wisdom. I came of age during the sects revolution, and I explored all kinds of kinky sects. But I never felt fulfilled. I finally saw the light when I woke up one morning with a sugar hangover at a biker crash pad. I was wearing an orange leather vest and reeked of incense. Yes, I had become a Harley Krishna. I took a good look at myself in the mirror, and that’s when enlightening struck and I found foolfillment. I became fooly-realized the moment I realized that I was a fool fully filled with foolishness — and there was nothing to do about it but laugh. And I’ve been preaching FUNdamentalism ever since.
The Five Fundamentals of FUNdamentalism
1. Life Is a Joke — But God Is Laughing With Us, Not At Us. The Creator is tuned to the Comedy Channel, and we are what’s on. We take turns being comedian and straight man (and yes, a gay woman can be a straight man — it happens all the time), so we get the fool spectrum of experience. And we have free choice. We get to choose whether or not we laugh. If you want to be miserable, go right ahead – whatever makes you happy. But I figure, why resist a Farce that is greater than any of us? If life is a sitcom, might as well sit calm and enjoy it.
2. Fun Is Fundamental. FUNdamentalists believe that life is fundamentally fun — that underneath all the stress, distress and negativity, there is a deep well of joy. Each time laughter bubbles up from that well, we experience deep wellness. A fooly-aware person need only look in the mirror to begin laughing. So play to God daily. Surrender to the Farce, and smile … you’re on Candid Karma.
3. A Laugh Track Has Been Provided. The FUNdamentalist scriptures tell us that on the Eighth Day, God saw the world was funny and created Laughter. And since we were humoring Him, He decided to humor us. So He provided a laugh track so we could laugh along. But when things get serious, we lose track of the laugh track. Fortunately, the best way to overcome gravity is with levity. We can use the levitational pull to help us rise above whatever is bringing us down — and help us get back on track.
4. We Are Put In the Material World To Get More Material. Spirit is immaterial, so it must materialize to experience anything. Without material existence, there would be nothing to laugh about and no one to do the laughing. We have been given the human jestive system to turn the material of life into laughter. When we laugh, God laughs. And when we laugh with God, we are using the spiritual to heal the material. To be happy in life, you must be able to take a joke. And if you can leave a few as well, all the better.
5. Nonjudgment Day Is At Hand! When a majority of human beings choose to laugh rather than condemn, we will have an uncritical mass, and this will usher in Nonjudgment Day. On Nonjudgment Day, we will all win beauty contests. Lawyers will disappear, and all our trials will be over. On this glorious day when enlightening strikes, our clown chakras will open, we will become fooly-realized, and we will finally get the joke. The world will stop — and everyone will get off.